What if “quiet quitting” is not that quiet?

Quiet quitting refers to the act of an employee becoming disengaged and discontented with their job to the point that they no longer feel valued or appreciated. Instead of openly expressing their dissatisfaction or seeking to resolve the issue, they simply disengage from their work and become emotionally detached.

Furthermore, a culture of quiet quitting can lead to a toxic work environment, where employees are afraid to speak up or share their ideas for fear of being ignored or dismissed. This can stifle innovation and creativity, ultimately hindering the growth and success of any company.

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When employees are driven to quietly quit due to being undervalued or overlooked, it can lead to a loss of talent and potential for a company, big or small – talent is equality important in both. It’s crucial for leaders and employers to pay attention to the subtle signs and suggestions from their employees to create a culture of growth and progress.

It’s critical to recognise that employees who go above and beyond their job duties often do so out of a desire to contribute to the company and make a difference. When their efforts are dismissed or ignored, it can cause frustration and a lack of motivation to continue striving for excellence.

It’s disheartening to be overlooked and disregarded despite being eager and enthusiastic about making progress.

Sometimes, employees may tolerate minor setbacks, and leaders may intentionally or unintentionally overlook small indications. There may be subtle hints that go unheeded, as well as ignored proposals and “noise cancellation” that still makes an impact. All in all, it’s rarely a quiet process.

Three simple things leaders can do to avoid a disengaged, demotivated employee who could leave (quietly to not):

Listen actively.When an employee speaks up or seeks support, a great way to show them they matter is to actively listen to their ideas or grievances; pay close attentions to what is being said and what is not being said, by assessing the non-verbal cues, such as their tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, to gain a deeper understanding of what is really going on.
Provide open and constructive feedback: if something cannot be done immediately, when can it be done? Give them a timeline, a plan of action and feedback on what they could improve (if additional skills are required for their role)
Acknowledge their contributions to create a positive and supportive work environment. It is crucial to recognise and appreciate the efforts of employees who strive to do more than what is expected of them, as this can motivate and inspire others to do the same.

Today, employees don’t choose jobs, they choose other leaders, visions, missions, careers.

Make them worth their while!

A thinking model that makes you a leader

There are many leadership styles: democratic, authoritative, coaching, visionary, lessez faire -which comes from French – and literally means let it make (or non-literally and which makes more sense – let it be) – and so many more. And if you don’t know which one fits you, I’m sure that you can find many online questionnaires and quizzes to find out in 15 minutes or less which style is yours.

But, I want to talk about two other types of leaders: the formal and informal leaders.

A Formal Leader is someone who has a title, someone who has been appointed as a leader: in politics, organisations, groups , communities and even families.

An Informal Leader is someone who is naturally followed by people because of their attitude, because of their power to influence or because they represent a model for those who follow them.

Use the following thinking model to become an informal leader at home, at work or in community. This model of thinking will significantly improve your mindset and will empower you on a daily basis.

This model we often use in coaching, is called above the line – below the line thinking.

For the sake of the exercise, lets draw a horizontal line – just like in this picture. Spoiler alert! To be a functional human being you must always try to stay above the line.

You may have heard of this thinking model , it’s often referred to as victims vs victors, or fixed vs growth mindset, but no matter how you call it, it’s still going to be easier to see it as above the line, below the line.

What does this model do for us?

It allows us to become solution oriented, rather than problem driven, it allows to deliver outcomes, results and detangle the wires that keep us stuck.

No problem can be solved by the same level of consciousness that create it
Albert Einstein

What this quote actually says is that we cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.

Let’s see what below the line thinking looks like:

Below the line we have: blame, excuses, justification, denial, avoidance, that victim mentality – where it’s not our fault, or someone else must come to rescue, there is always a problem band almost never a solution.

See this below the line thinking example when receiving feedback:

“Alex I think you could’ve been softer with that customer, although he was rude, he was right, we absolutely done wrong by him.” A reply with below line thinking would sound like this: yes, but!( whatever comes after “BUT” is useless, just as if you would take a sponge and erased it) yes, but, he was yelling or << insert any excuse >>

With answers like this, we do not allow ourselves to grow and to learn. We do not create choices, we do not look for resources instead we choose, consciously or unconsciously to stay the same and as a result of holding on to this thinking we experience overwhelm, stress and even anxiety and depression. It doesn’t mean we can immediately change it, we sometimes come up with defensive answers, excuses and blame because we are not aware that we blame and make excuses – plus! nobody likes to be criticised and corrected.

Above the line we have the opposite: we have responsibility, accountability, ownership, solutions, choices – no excuses, no blame.

This is where a functional adult sits. Above the line is where we consciously choose what is happening, we are in control of our thinking, of our actions and responses – when we reach here life happens for us – not to us – just like Tony Robbins says.

This is where the victors are.

The easiest way to step above the line is to make a decision to stay open, curious and grateful.

An above the line example for the above feedback, would be: I appreciate you bringing this up, I will definitely use my empathy next time, after all, I understand very well what he was going through”.

Is this something easy to do? Absolutely NOT.

We all have different backgrounds and environments and sometimes we learn that it’s ok to make an excuse – “they will understand” – oh sorry I’m late, the traffic was terrible . Sure.

You know what? Nobody cares! You can use millions of excuse and live in blame and justification as much as you want; people move on, the world moves on. The only one who will have something to lose is you! Why? Because you let go of your power to something that is outside of you, you allow traffic be more powerful than your own will to leave the house a bit earlier and make it on time. And if you let go of your power one excuse at the time, what are you left with?

This thinking model is one of the first things that will make you an informal leader. To become an informal leader is rewarding because other people see an example in you, they see someone who they want to model – a formal leader, on the other hand it chosen by a title, their power disappears as soon as that title changes.

Who do you want to be? Where do you want to sit… below the line or above the line?

Do you trust your colleagues?

A few years ago, I was in a training to become a trainer for a topic I was (and still am) in love with – Emotional Intelligence. I made friends with most of the attendees, which was fun. For a couple of hours.

At some point, the trainer asked a question:

Do you trust your colleagues?

I was in my early twenties and I thought… this is no brainer… of course I do! so I say “YES” out loud. And all (ALL) other attendees said NO almost at the same time.

I was a bit confused, but I figured, it’s ok…we have a trainer, we’ll be ok, she will explain….

And the trainer looked at me and asked me again: Alex, do you trust your colleagues? I turned all red, everyone was now looking at me, I was after all the ‘odd one’ and they were all waiting for me to answer.

Someone else from the group decided to change their answer and say: “yes, I also trust them, until they prove me wrong.”

I said: yes, I do… barely hearing my own voice, honestly; and slightly questioning myself at this point.

To which she replied …. “See, you can’t trust anyone. We are all here to do a job, and that is all there is to it. We are all different, I can’t be sure that you will do a great job at hiring the right candidate (I was in HR) because I don’t know how you judge characters, for example”. I mean … she made a point. My colleagues seemed to enjoy it and agree with it.

I insisted a bit more on how we need to trust our colleagues but I have to admit I wasn’t prepared enough for that conversation back then.

But now… now I have a few questions.

1. If you can’t trust your colleagues to do their job, how can they trust you to do yours?

2. If you trust your colleagues until “they prove your otherwise”, is it trust, really? Or is the opposite of it (suspicion, distrust); basically just waiting for the other person to fail and then “prove” you that you “were right”.

3. Do you trust your friends?

Who do you really trust?

There is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy and civilization throughout the world – one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love. […]
That one thing is trust
—Stephen M. R. Covey

“You see”, trust is something we learn from a very early stage of life. Trust is mutual. Trust is earned. Trust is built. Trust is learnt. Trust is taught. Trust is a feeling not a task.

And trust starts with yourself. Having trust in yourself is about the simple things: keeping your promises and your commitments, becoming believable to yourself and to others, doing what you say you’d do and staying tru to your values; it boils down to one, even simpler, question: Am I someone I would trust?

I’m not saying you should be gullible, let people mock you or walk all over you. That’s not trust in the first place. Build healthy boundaries and don’t allow people to take advantage of you and at the same time, do some homework on how to trust yourself and others.

Self trust is the first secret of success…the essence of heroism
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

How to lead successful change

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

People change constantly: in a lifetime everyone goes through personal transformation from infancy to young adulthood, middle age and finally to old age. A career path may lead from subordinate to junior management, middle management and eventually board level or consultancy. Organizations also mature and evolve, with major changes on many levels in policies, culture and practice. Increasing your capacity to understand and drive change could be beneficial for personal satisfaction and career progress.

Creating a change plan for your organisation is not easy, especially if you’re at the beginning of the road. Today’s leaders are trying to adapt to the realities of this fast paced world and they face a serious and contemporary problem: they must transform their organisation from an idea to a tangible product, from losing to winning, from zero to hero. All that happens with little to no time for the employees to adjust to the new way. Times of change are challenging for leaders, and even more challenging are times when they need to plan, implement and drive change.

There is little, if any, black and white guidelines that work in organisations. In order to be successful, a change process must:

Be a multi-phase process
Be dynamic; you need to learn or expect to make adjustments as you go
Establish a common understanding of the performance that is required, from leadership to employees
Create a comprehensive approach that links individual efforts to your change objectives
Recognize that change will occur at different stages and times throughout the organisation (some employees or departments will cope with change faster than others)

The ideal change management plan combines aspects of both strategic and tactical planning. Here are five steps you can take to create it.

1. Clarify the reason behind change, the end goal, and at the same time, clarify what will not change.

Start with providing clear guidance and better understanding for your employees. Often it is helpful to create a change vision – board. Clarifying the purpose will help your team understand why is change important. Defining an end goal will help them picture what it will look like. Letting your team know what will not change will minimize the fear and uncertainty. In effect, you will be providing stability in the midst of change. Times of change are stressful.

Tips: If you are to initiate the change, make sure you work with those who are to understand the big picture and goals. Discuss how you and your team are expected to support the change. By this, you will designate who plays what role in implementing the change. This step is important because: It conveys the sense of urgency and need for change; it will help you assess readiness for change. It designs the expected end state. It builds trust and commitment.

2. Build rapport and ownership

The more you involve your team in the change plan, the easier it is for them to accept it and implement it. Acceptance is best achieved by involving those directly affected by change in planning it. Communication is vital here.

This step is important because: It helps you evaluate the impact. It identifies common themes. It creates the change strategy.

3. Design change management initiatives

By now you will be able to work on specific actions, guidelines, roles and timeline of execution.

Tip: Discuss these with your team and as appropriate ask them for feedback and inputs. Designing the activities will help you set priorities. Avoid overwhelming everyone with too much change at once.

This step is important because: It identifies specific change initiatives. The change plan becomes more tactical now.

4. Implement change

Execute your change plan and keep moving forward. Procrastination can create inertia or confusion. Timely implementation of the plan reaffirms the importance of change and your commitment to see it through.

Tip: Monitor the status of plan implementation.

5. Learn and Adjust

Throughout the change process it is important to keep the communication open. You want to get feedback from your team, you want to stay on top of any unexpected consequences that have emerged and have to be dealt with. It is necessary to have a dialogue with those affected by the change.

This step is important because: Most change plans have failed due to the inability to adjust or learn from mistakes.

Tip: Make feedback part of your change culture. Don’t be afraid to modify the plan including the time frame. Be patient. Ways to collect feedback: Change plan reviews; Informal discussion; Regular team meetings.

The best leaders are those who can deal with ambiguity and change, and those who make it easier for their team to follow through. Companies who fails to keep up with change are inevitably left behind. Successful leaders are those who not only acknowledge that change is essential, but they go an extra mile, embrace change and use it as a muscle to move the organisation forward.

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often” – Winston S. Churchill